Forbidden Love
by BlueSmurfette
Summary: Set in high school - Nathan and Peyton are lovers, but when Peyton discovers an alarming secret, will she put the breaks on their relationship, or stick by the boy she loves?
1. Letters

Dear Mom,

It feels weird, writing to you, seeing as I have no idea who or where you are. I doubt you'll ever read this, I doubt I'll ever meet you, and my personal opinion is that this is a waste of time. My therapist recommended I write to you though, not for your benefit, I don't think, but more for mine, I'm not sure why though, I think she expects it to give me some sort of closure or something.

When I was little, I used to dream about you every night. Why you left me, and why you never came back. I used to think it was because you were some famous artist, travelling the world, inspiring people, but now I'm not so naive now. I know the probability is that you were some drugged up tramp who didn't even know she was pregnant.

Sometimes I imagine if, one day, I actually did meet you. What would you be like now? Would we get on? I wonder if you like the same things as me. And then I think about what would happen, would you visit me? Would I have to live with you? You have to understand, whatever kind of mother you mat be, you are the only one I will ever have, and, as much as I hate it, I know that somewhere in my heart, there is a tiny gap that only a mother can fill.

I don't know if you know this, but I live with my adoptive dad, he's called Larry. He's amazing, and we get on great, we love each other unconditionally and I know that no matter what decisions I make in life he will stand by me. In a way, I guess I have you to thank for this… without you I would never have met him. I wonder what my dads called, I wonder if you even know his name. Were in you in a relationship, or was it just a drunken one night fumble? I doubt I'll ever find out, but you know what, I'm fine with that. I'm happy with my life the way it

Love,

Peyton.


	2. Secrets

Nathan Scott awoke suddenly, as his alarm clock blared loudly next to his bed, he got slowly out of bed, stretching his tall, lean body as he did so. He felt good. He didn't know why but he felt like today was going be a good day. He walked downstairs clumsily, still half asleep, to find him mother, Deb waiting for him in the kitchen. She looked worried. Guilty. Nathan sighed deeply – his mom was always getting into dilemmas and he was fed up of getting her out of them. "Mom, I don't want to hear about it." He said snappily, as Deb opened her mouth to speak. She looked hurt now, and Nathan felt a twang of guilt. This quickly disappeared as the doorbell rang however, as he could see that on the other side of the door were his half brother Lucas Scott and his girlfriend, Peyton's best friend Brooke Davis.

He smiled as he opened the door and his friends greeted him warmly, remembering they were here to drive him to Peyton's so they could all go to the beach. "Give me five minutes guys." He said, leaving them standing in the doorway as he ran upstairs to get dressed. As though it had been timed, the moment Nathan got into his room, his mobile rang. Seeing the caller was Peyton, he eagerly picked up, desperate to hear her beautiful voice. "Hey babe, what's up?" he said as pulled his t shirt over his head and torso. Peyton sniffled as she answered, worrying Nathan as he hated her being upset. "Well, it's kind of well…" it sounded to Nathan like Peyton was having difficulty spitting what she was trying to say out, but then she continued. "It's my birth mom, she wants to meet me. Today, so I won't be able to get to the beach." Nathan was shocked. He knew that Peyton had wanted to meet her mother for a while, but he didn't think it would ever happen "I'll come with you." He said immediately, wanting to be close to her, to comfort her. "Thanks," she replied sniffing, "she's getting round mine for 10, so can you get Lucas and Brooke to give you a life still?"  
"Sure." He said "and also Nathan, could you not tell anyone about this please?" Peyton asked. Nathan replied he would tell no one before hanging up and finishing dressing and joining Lucas and Brooke in the car.

The car journey was awkward, Nathan thought, and knew this was his fault. Brooke was trying to talk to Nathan, but he was too busy thinking to properly listen, often just grunting in reply. "So Peyton's not well?" Brooke asked worriedly, "Are you sure you don't want me and Luke to keep you company?"

"You know we'd be happy to." Lucas added, turning round to smile at Nathan as he continued driving. "Na, it's cool. You guys go to the beach, have a bit of alone time." Brooke giggled then, playfully slapping Lucas' thigh as she winked at Nathan. "We're here Nate," Lucas said as the car pulled over. "See you later."

"And try not to catch whatever Sawyer has!" Brooke added with a giggle, as the car drove away, discarding Nathan on the pavement.


	3. Revelations

**I'm really sorry this story hasn't been updated for actual MONTHS but I've just been so busy with school and exams I haven't really had the chance to update it… Also, I've kind of been having writers block, as I know what I want to say but not how to write it? Anyway, I'm still not entirely convinced this chapter's up to scratch and I'm kind of wondering whether I should discard this story as I don't think it's going to turn out as well as I'd like it to. Anyway, here's the third chapter and I hope you enjoy it **

Peyton nervously paced her kitchen, biting her nails as she watched the clock creep closer and closer to ten o clock. She checked her appearance in the mirror – she haad made a special effort today, and she hated herself for it. Why should she make the extra effort for the woman who abandoned her 17 years ago? A part of her was excited yet at the same time she felt incredibly anxious – would her mother me friendly? Would she even show up? Even if she did, Peyton wasn't convinced she'd be able to socialise with her, there was just so many unresolved feelings of hurt and pain where this woman was involved.

The bell rang and Peyton's heart jumped a beat. She walked slowly towards the door, psyching herself up to meet the mother she had never known; she opened the door slowly and unsurely. Finding herself face to face with – Deb? She immediately felt both a deep feeling of relief and a bit disappointed, as well as being curious to why Deb was on her doorstep, as although the two had as friendly relationship they rarely spoke outside Nathans house unless Deb was concerned with Nathan.

"Hey Deb, what's up?" Peyton said nonchalantly, not wanting to let on that she was incredibly nervous. She had only told Nathan she was meeting her mother – even her best friend Brooke Davis had been left in the dark as Peyton knew she would want to be there. "I thought you were expecting me?" Deb queried expectantly as she fiddled with the sleeves of her cardigan. "Is something wrong with Nathan?" Peyton asked concernedly, inviting Deb into the house hoping to distract herself from her imminent meeting with her birth mother. Deb stayed in the doorway, her nervous disposition now perfectly obvious to Peyton, who was starting to worry something was really wrong with Nathan. "Peyton," Deb started, pausing to inhale deeply "I'm your mother."


	4. Heartbreak

Deb was gone. Peyton had kicked her out after her revelation. She felt sick as the realisation of her and Nathans relationship hit her. Not only was she dating the love of her life, but she was also dating her half brother. As she regarded this thought she felt vomit rise in her throat. It was disgusting. How could Deb let this happen?

Peyton wanted to believe with all her heart that Deb had been lying to her – playing a sick twisted joke to break up her and Nathan, but she knew she wasn't. She had known as soon as she looked into the eyes of the woman who had just told Peyton she was her mother. She picked up her phone, and started scrolling down for Nathans number, changing her mind when she found it and throwing the phone at the kitchen wall in a moment of frustration. She had to break up with him. Them being together was sick and wrong. Peyton knew that breaking up with Nathan meant never seeing him again – there would be too much hurt and angst to bear. Peyton had thought she would marry Nathan, had planned to have a family with him, spend the rest of her life loving him and being with him. And now she could not spend another moment with him. In five minutes all her dreams and hopes had vanished completely, to be replaced with a feeling of distraught desperation.

Peyton's phone rang as she lay on her bed, she ignored it, desperately trying to drown out everything around her and wake up from this nightmare. The phone rang again, persistently for ten minutes before she picked it up uttering a quiet "Hello?" into the receiver

"Hey babe," she froze as she recognised the gruff voice from the other end and she remained silent, unable to speak to the boy whose heart she was going to have to break, "Peyton? You there?" Nathan asked in response to Peyton's silence. Then, without warning Peyton burst into tears and threw her phone across the room once more. Not having Nathan in her life was going to be one of the hardest things in the world, but at the same time she realised it was a necessity that they go their spate ways, not an option. Would Deb tell him he was related to Peyton? Peyton hoped she did, as she couldn't bare the idea of telling Nathan herself – would he even believe her?

Peyton opened the door to reveal Nathan, in his Ravens uniform, standing on her doorstep. His eyes were filled with concern as he leant over to kiss her cheek, the hurt creeping in when she shied away from him like he was infectious. Peyton went into the kitchen, not wanting to talk more than she had to, not wanting to make this harder. Nathan followed her anxiously into the kitchen, creating small talk as he sat down at the large kitchen table "Everyone missed you at school today," he started in a jolly tone, hoping to brighten up Peyton's mood, "Brooke was so mad that she couldn't practice her cheer routines properly, she made Mouth step in and do your part." He chucked to himself as he recalled this last part, looking up hoping to see some laughter forming in Peyton's face, but instead he was met with the same gloomy expression as before. He tried again, not wanting to bring up Peyton's birth mother. It was clear that the meeting hasn't gone well. "I saw Whitey topless in the changing rooms today, I don't even know what he was doing, it was so weird though, and gross… he has a really hairy chest." Again Peyton appeared not to acknowledge what he had just said, instead turning her back to him as she filled her glass with water. Nathan stood up to hug her from behind, let her know that he was here when she wanted to talk, but when he touched her she recoiled in horror, spilling water down her top as she did so.

"We need to talk." Peyton said quietly and coldly from across the room. Deb obviously had failed to inform her son about their incestuous relationship, she had obviously decided that was a job best left for Peyton. She met Nathans eye and felt her heart break a little at the look he was giving her, he looked so concerned, so desperate, so helpless. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him they were related. She just couldn't "It's over." She said simply, looking away as his face went from concerned to confused "What's happened Peyt'?" he asked. His voice had now adopted a distinctly worried tone as disbelief and confusion swept over his body. They couldn't be breaking up. Peyton was the love of his life. There had to be some sort of misunderstanding, Peyton had to be joking him. Surely? "I'm sorry. I think you should go now." He heard Peyton's voice break as she uttered the single sentence, she wasn't joking he realised as cold horror engulfed him. "Can't we talk about this? What's wrong? What have I done?" he was about to cry, he couldn't help it. He held back the tears as he stared her in the eye intently for what seemed like a lifetime. "There's nothing to talk about Nathan. It's me, not you," Peyton said quietly, trying to look anywhere but at the broken man before her "Is this something to do with your birth mother?" Nathan asked frantically, he was desperate for answers, he still couldn't believe this was really happening. "No. It's nothing to do with her. She means nothing." Peyton said curtly, her voice breaking just a little as she uttered the final three words. "But I love you!" Nathan cried as he tried to get his head round what was happening. Peyton gulped deeply before uttering the words she thought she would never, ever have to "Well I don't love you. It's over for good." Continuing "I think you should leave now." Nathan stood up, staring at Peyton in disbelief. How could she do this to him? He was sure of one thing, he was going to find out what was wrong and he was going to get her back. "Call me if you need anything." He whispered softly before walking forlornly out of the kitchen and slamming the front door behind him.

Peyton broke down the moment he left. Her sobs were uncontrollable as she curled herself into a ball on the cold kitchen floor. She had done the hardest part, but she had been left feeling so lonely and empty on the inside that she wondered if she could go on. One thing was for sure. She could never see Nathan again. It would just be too painful.

**Okay, I've decided this how I'm going to leave this story – I'm not going o add any more to it. I'm completely out of ideas and don't really want to go down the incest route, so you can use your imagination to end the story if you feel it hasn't been done well here. Who knows, maybe if I get more ideas in the future I'll write a sequel or something, but at the moment I'm calling this complete. **** I know a lot of it seems rather rushed and it is really short, but I hope you still enjoyed it, it's my first go at a fic so hopefully if or when I write another both the length and quality of writing will improve. Anyway I think that's enough babbling so yeah, hope you liked it **


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